How would you know if he is the ONE?

It is not really easy you know, going through all those confusing occasions when you can feel that the person who is laughing at your jokes or is trying to get close to you ,just doesn’t want to get in your pants. I said that out loud ( smilingly sheepishly) , well it’s the truth anyway. A man might be handsome, charming , with all the qualities that you want in your dream man , but there’s no guarantee that he will be the one. Every turn in our life is made up of a twist, the moment we understand the rhythm or pattern , it changes the wave.

source : tenor

I am going to tell you one thing before we move further that there is no assurance that any one of the traits mentioned below will match with your future partner, but it did work for me personally and some of my friends and colleagues , whom I have talked to before writing this blog post.

source: tenor

Without further delay lets begin listing out the characteristic features that you must start searching in your boyfriend/partner/husband.

• Desirable Qualities–  Searching for the ONE is not like a talent hunt show, where you are ready to grade according to the various parameters. But subconsciously every women creates a checklist of desirable qualities that she wants in her man. Some of us focus more on the physical attributes than the mental ones, others give equal importance to both outer appearance and intellect. If you ask me, I would say both are an integral part of a person. A man’s look as well as his thought process, behavior , personality; makes him likable . There are women who like rough and tough appearance while others love suave individuals. It is up to you to decide what you want, no body can decide for you. The first thing though that you must know is how you exactly want your partner to be.

Source: tenor

• Your feelings– Once you have decided on the desirable qualities of a man, you must wait. This can be a bit excruciating but it totally depends on your fate and luck. Among Hindus it is believed that meeting your life partner or soul mate is a matter of destiny and I obviously second that. So suppose you have met a guy, who you think is lovely and perhaps meets most of your demands . I mentioned ‘most’ here because no individual can be 100% perfect.  You will have to figure out your feelings for this person. Is it just infatuation, or you like him or is it love? Take your time and observe him, think about your future, can you really not see the years ahead without him or is it only a bit of fun for a couple of days.

Source: tenor

• His Intentions–  Falling in love with a man , doesn’t necessarily make him the ONE. He should have equally strong feelings for you. If he finds you undesirable or thinks of you only as a friend or colleague you might have to think or probably wreck your brain about the situation. Okay, well no brain wrecking but you might want to find out his intentions for you. May be talk to him subtly , if you can handle that well. If and when you find out he is interested , the next thing you need to know is whether the attraction towards you is his lust or love. Girls easily fall prey in these kind of situations.  There are few indications you can look for :-

1. Does he support your decisions?  A man might not support all your decisions , he has a different way of thinking after all but at least he will be giving you advice or probably a shoulder to lean on when you need to think.

Source: girlasksguy.com

• Is he possessive? This can be baffling, some guys are not too possessive about their girls but every man has a tiny bit of this ancient streak within him. The way they express it might be different , some of them remain quiet or completely silent, some argue, while others might have occasional outbursts.  And if he doesn’t care at all then you have your answer there.

source: tenor

• Is it only hook up for him? Well there’s another way to find out about the man’s intention . You should try to understand and properly notice the way his thread of conversation is moving. Does he promise a lot of things , right from the beginning or are his feelings developing gradually. For a man to speak a lot referencing towards future activities and incidents is not normal. Even if you have known each other for a long time,  you cannot expect him to start making promises and giving you assurances right from the next day. Believe me, he too would be naturally fearful of this new development of feelings. But if things are moving too fast, you need to hold up your Sherlock Magnifying glass, because THAT SCREAMS FISHY.

source: tenor

So once both of you have decided on your feelings for each other , you have to be strong and be there for him, while he looks after you. It is not only his duty to go through hardships for you, the path  you walk on, will have to be overcome by both of you.

That is all for today folks! See you guys soon. Oh and before I forget there are going to be some major changes in the blog. I think its been going a bit bland for my taste.

Finally , Auf Wiedersehen mein lieblings

Rien – as in nothing

Bonjour copains, Hello friends it has been a few months that I started learning French for two reasons –

1. To proceed with my next level of education,

2. I obviously love the language.

It is just so sweet and passionate. Though I do not know much about the French people, their language suggests they live in the moment of their lives. Well it is not all these ramblings that I am here for.

I was watching a french movie called ” L’arnacoeur” ( The Heartbreaker) on Netflix for two reasons-

1. Better understanding of the language.

2. Because the name and poster were attractive.

I know it’s kind of childish but the man in the poster did make a mental call onto me.

Alright, so the thing that I noticed in this movie was the word “Rien” ( nothing) being used over and over again. The lead actor is in love with the lead actress, denies it with nothing. She wants him back but again its ” rien”, that’s where problems arise.

FEELINGS DON’T TEND TO SPURT OUT OF NOTHING

Even in our real when we are dealing with our feelings for a person we shouldn’t just forget it with nothing. We are real, life is real, so where does this NOTHING seep in from.

TALK

Talk to someone close to you, your friend, sister, brother, cousin. We have a plethora of near and dear ones surrounding us. Find out the person you can talk to. Make sure the person understands you and doesn’t just dismiss the dilemma you are in.

TALK TO THE PERSON

Don’t make him / her terrified of the situation , by vomiting out all your undigested thoughts. Pour it slowly on their minds, so that even they are able to process it. When you feel the cogwheels running, don’t escape from the situation, there are chances that the other person might also be avoiding the idea of their feelings as nothing. Try to explore the situation together, it will give you enough strength to move forwards, besides two brains work better than one.

Well to end my train of thoughts, I would like to share with you guys one of my favorite dialogues from the movie.

je romps les relations pas les couples,

true to his word he didn’t break any couple even at the end.

Inter religious relationships in India

In a country which is a hub of various religions you would be surprised to know that there are very few families which accepts such relations. Falling in love is not the only thing necessary for a relationship running.  Being always the caring ones,  we Indians are bound to think of our society’s honour.  If we fall in love with a person who doesn’t belong to our religion,  we are immediately advised to terminate that or are forced to elope,  that is if we agree towards a marriage. 

Just because we have different culture or religion doesn’t make it right to prohibit a relationship between the different groups of people.  Here I am talking about the common people not of the elite society.  Our people can be considered ignorant but this ignorance sometimes turns violent and scenes from Romeo and Juliet come out live. There had been many such cases in the past. Now,  don’t we always say that we shouldn’t dig out the past, even in the present century the situations haven’t developed much. Let’s says I am a Hindu girlfriend and fell in love with a Christian boy,  when I introduce him to my family it will take all their strength not to throw both of us out of the house. This doesn’t mean that they will agree instead all my connections to the outer world may be cut off and whenever I go to college or somewhere else,  my brother or some other relative will accompany there to fight him off.
My question to you is if this thing is such a taboo then why do you allow them to get acquainted with us? If you care about me then do care for him as well for he is hurting too.  

How I came up with characters Zack and Sara?

Today’s task is to write post for some imaginary reader. I thought since I may never get the chance to speak about the lead characters of my novella,  so why not write this to a reader who is a creation of my mind.
First let me start with the female protagonist Sara Aaland. One day while watching a sensational news where a female journalist was being harshly  pushed away from the path of a businessman I thought that she has to be stronger to retain her job and then the character developed in my mind gradually.  I have this habit of conversing with my characters,  just mind conversation you know. The character developed into strong,  intelligent and a little romantic lady.
Now I needed the male protagonist. As the female was a strong willed lady,  so her love interest must be someone who could adjust to her necessities. The man must be a spoiled brat,  and he should be handsome, don’t forget about his pride.  He has that as well. Now both the lead characters were ready but the others had to be developed equally which I developed throughout the story 

Do we really know what is love?

I should confess in the beginning that I’m still not sure what is love. I can’t define it.

Woman in love

Below I’ll mention an incident which might clarify our doubt a little:
It has been three years since my break up with him and until  yesterday it was difficult for me to keep his thoughts aside. We were friends from kindergarten to high school and then our relationship changed to a higher level. He proposed me and because I had a crush on him I accept with eagerness. We were teenagers,  trying to fit ourselves into the real world and dealing with all the other problems proved to be a feat. One day he simply stopped talking , I called,  sent him messages but he didn’t reply. This I did for almost two weeks and then I left hope. 
From that day onwards I decided never to cry for a man,  they don’t deserve it. Career was the only thing I focussed on and well had to two or three casual relationships , which would last for a week or so but nothing serious.  But fate has its own plans.  Last year I met a guy and we have been friends since.  He proposed four back and I accepted informing him that I don’t believe in love and I’m just infatuated. I have been reminding him the same thing since that day.  He is a man of action.  A generous,  wise and intellectual person.  Showers me with loads of love. It was difficult for me not fall for him.  I have a heart which was shielded and he made me unveil that for me. Yesterday I was talking with him when I received a message. I asked him to hold , he did that while I checked the message,  it was from my ex greeting me a good evening in his old friendly tone.  I replied him back with as much enthusiasm as possible and wished him good luck for future.  I don’t know how I was able to do that.  Once whom I thought looked like a Greek God now he seemed more a lanky person with color gone from his skin and for whom I cried so much so that my eyes would be puffy in the morning,  I couldn’t say him anything.  I just felt that my soul was left free to roam again.  And then realized whatever I thought as love was never love it was a mere infatuation and the only reason I could forgive him is because I never loved him and have nothing against him.

Love gives us many lessons in life and this was one such example.  If you have any real life incident as this please feel free to share.  I’ll be waiting 💚💚💚

Interesting characters of some popular novels 2

Those who read my last post must know by now that today’s novel will be a Bengali novel,  written by revolutionary author Sarat Chandra Chatterjee.  The novel is Parineeta which means previously married.  Those who are familiar with Indian movies , this name must be ringing a bell in their ears.

For those who are not familiar with the story I’ll provide a short summary:

The novel begins with Gurucharan a bank clark,  getting the news of the birth of his fifth daughter. A few days later he brings his niece Lalita , a 13 year old orphan home.  She slowly adjusts with her new surrounding. She is best friend of Charubala . Gurucharan’s neighbor is Mr.Nabin Roy and family,  who are wealthy and the family head is a wicked man,  always deceiving poor people whom he lends money with high interest. His youngest son Shekhar takes an instant liking to Lalita after she arrives.  Now the specificity of the novel’s name comes to light when Lalita,  Charu , Shekhar were playing childish game with dolls and they get married. All of this being part of the game they didn’t mind.  As the story develops so does Shekhar’s love for Lalita. In the meantime a new character is introduced in the story Girin who is Charubala’s uncle and her mother’s young cousin. He’s nearly Shekhar’s age. A very helpful person,  he helps Gurucharan turn into a Brahmo so that he doesn’t have to pay dowries for daughters. Shekhar was out of town for a few when Lalita’s marriage with Girin is fixed, after returning he learns of that but doesn’t ask her anything.  They don’t see each other for many days. Both Gurucharan and Nabin Roy are dead .Shekhar feels Lalita is married but story later is revealed when Girin says Shekhar that he already knew of the marriage, she had told him everything and you cannot marry an already married woman, as was the custom those days.  Shekhar told his mother the entire story and the lady who had always adored Lalita like her said daughter is happy to have her at home.

Now lets begin our discussion about the characters:
Lalita
She was thirteen at the beginning of the novel gradually she grows up. She’s beautiful,  a little outspoken lady. Adored by everyone..Shekhar’s mother asks her to call her Ma. She is optimistic, that was she chose to tell the truth about her and Shekhar’s marriage to Girin.

Shekhar – He is the protagonist and  youngest son of Nabin Roy, though the eldest is mentioned only by name. He is twenty five years old and has a master degree. He works as a teacher. He is deeply in love with Lalita . He is an obedient son , a faithful friend.  He wants to marry Lalita but is restrained by social customs and his father.

Girin – He is another important character of the story. It is because of him that story turns into a love triangle at times. He is a university student and as earlier mentioned the uncle of Charu.  He is a Brahmo and convinces Gurucharan to be a Brahmo as well,  so that during his daughters marriages he is spared from paying large dowries.  He is a wise person and thinks about social good.

This was all for today’s character discussion. For next week I was wondering if we could discuss on “Outsider” but then it came to my mind that ” Jane Eyre” is not bad either.  So which one do you think should we put on the shelf next week?

Interesting Characters of some popular Romance Novels

This month we will be discussing a few interesting characters of some popular romance novels. I will be a little blunt and say that discussion will be based on a n average of three characters, with the leading being a regular and one or two other characters. Today I have chosen to speak forth about a novel which had stirred the masses during the age of enlightenment and Voltaire. In those days it was considered immoral and immodest for a woman to be an author , so our Miss Austen published her anonymously. I think you would be a little intrigued by the Author. Here’s a brief bio:

Born in 16 December 1775 in England she chose write novels based on Romantic fiction which was set among the landed gentry of England. Her novels were mostly based on realism, social commentary. Pride and Prejudice is one of her most popular works and others include Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park, Persuasion etc. For further details about her you can check here.

Pride and prejudice deals with Mr and Mrs Bennet who have five unmarried children and Mrs. Bennet tries her best to get all of them married. Her daughters try to woo Mr. Bingley , who is a wealthy man and rents Netherfield Park near Longbourn. Mr.Darcy is his suspicious and status conscious friend . Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth or Lizzie as she is lovingly are the leading characters . So today we will be discussing about Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth and her mother, Mrs. Bennet.

Elizabeth Bennet

She has been shown as a witty, attractive, judgmental young woman. Throughout the novel she had to deal with manners, upbringing, morality, education, marriage during the British regency. She is quite spoken unlike most most women of that period.She is shown to be close to her father, her elder sister Jane , her aunt Mrs. Gardiner and her best friend Charlotte Lucas. She is the Prejudice in the novel. Her and Mr. Darcy’s relationship hadn’t been very warm at the beginning but slowly as the story progresses they overcome their faux pas and surrender to their love for each other.

Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy

He is the male protagonist of the novel. He is shown to be a very wealthy man and owns the family estate of Pemberley. He has a shy sister Georgiana Darcy.He is handsome, tall , intelligent but lacks social ease. He is concerned of his status. Mrs. Bennet doesn’t like him because of his haughty nature, though he is not that yet he imposes it on others. He is greatly valued among friends. He is the epitome of pride in the novel.At last he overcomes his differences with Lizzie and falls in love with each other.

Mrs. Bennet

Her character is very interesting, she is a mother of five daughters and she wants all of them married to wealthy men. She is not concerned much of her daughters wishes. She is easily excitable, a narrow minded woman. She imagines herself susceptible to attacks of tremor, palpitation when she is displeased. Her favorite daughter is Lydia.

Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth’s story is considered one of the best probably because they were not into each other at the beginning but gradually fell for it. Those are reading this post now are warmly welcome to critique it and add your own points. And I would also like to tell you that the next novel that we will be dealing with is a Bengali novel, written by a famous author and its called, keep guessing until next week.