Breakups, Chaos

I am back again., after a gap of ten days almost . This blogging thing feels like an extension for me sometimes. But as addicted as I’m to writing I can’t stop posting in my blog.
Now let me start with today’s topic. I have seen lots of break ups till date and it hurts to see so many couples who once couldn’t be separated now don’t want to see each other. The reason probably is our pride which doesn’t let us see beyond our ego.

“He’s a total egoistic jerk”, I don’t remember exactly how many times I had to bear this ranting from my friend after her break up. We females are generally biased when it comes to men.  Completely agreeing with a woman and whatever she has to say against her husband or boyfriend. We pass on our shoulder for her to lean on while crying her eyes out.
Girls don’t you think that’s just unfair.  I know our friend here feels deceived and justice must be done.  But the poor guy who dumped her would have some reason behind it. To make a decision on this matter we should demand hearing from both parties.  As a counselor its our prime duty. Men unlike most women have the habit of thinking straight.  If they take any decision then its done after long calculative analysis. We on the other hand take any decision with our mind full of doubts. We worry too much about everything and let our emotions dictate the situation,  which makes the condition even worse,  sickening him to the pit and paving the way for a break up. So just be careful before taking any decision.
If you need advice regarding your first date or other stuff you can check out the advice category which will connect you to the posts. Have a good day.

Am I going to be victimized again?

In a relationship we do feel sometimes that we’re being victimized. That our partner is getting the most of it and yet we can’t take any actions against them. Love has this sort of attachment which makes us forgive their mistakes,  their level headedness,  their dominance and even the deadly sin which they perform against us. These are the times when we need our friends or siblings. They can think with a head not clouded with love.

If I had to advice in this case I would advice you to speak the matters clearly with him. Boys as much clever they are,  most of the times have to be directed. They may think that they are doing the right thing,  which they’re not. So just talk to them without any arguments and in some cases you too might be wrong.  Just let them know how you feel,  he’ll surely understand.
But if he doesn’t then you might need a counselor who will be able to explain both of you more about this relationship thing.
Never give up.

Half way through

I don’t know whether I it’s easy to fall in love with a person already know or with a stranger. If I had to answer I would choose a stranger. Mainly because he’ll have an open mind and will try to understand me pointing out the faults and the divinity within me. While listening to him we too should keep an open mind. He may speak up something unexpected,  we shouldn’t let that get into us because whatever it is we do love the person.
Many of us have an unstable mind after being in relationship for a few days you may think that you can’t continue. The day you think that try to reason yourself for which you so dearly want to leave him or her. This will ease your dillema.

Will your parents understand about your love relationship?

It’s quite a difficult question to answer. Most of the Indian  parents till date follow the old tradition of arranged marriage. Love marriage may be allowed within people of intra or inter caste but not outside that. Dating for many of them is still a foreign idea. If their child is in a romantic relationship then their freedom would be carried away in most of the cases and if not that then our parents politely convince us to break up with our partner. The common reason is that you are still a child and you don’t know what is love and for your information you  may be thirty but still a child. There are many teens or other individuals who like to share their feelings with their parents,  the relationship thing they have to be discreet about it, why? Because the parents will very unlikely understand it. 
This is an advice for the Indian parents –
1. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend is not bad when your child is in their late teens because by then they are matured enough to understand what is good or bad for them.
2. Don’t you worry that they will degrade their career for this because those who are sincere will understand that if you are without a career no one’s gonna care for you.
3. If they somehow happen to disclose about their relationship then take it as your chance to get information about your child’s love interest,  get them speaking to you about how they feel for the relationship.
4. Once you are done enquiring now its your time to decide whether their partners are good for them or not and if the person they are dating are not up to your mark then politely advice them what to do,  but don’t force which will only create distance between you and your child.
Finally I can conclude saying that if your child is an adult and has a boyfriend or girlfriend that means they do need some some privacy,  so please try to give them that and DON’T  keep on prying in their business because when they are ready,  they’ll speak to you,  give them some time.
As always I would like to hear opinions from my friends and readers regarding this issue.

Trust a building block for relationship

For any relationship to prolong the must trust each other same is the case for a romantic relationship.

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While building a relationship it is always asked that both the partners should be true to each other and this can only bring trust in their lives. A little lie may lead to a heap of lies further breaking the relation. For a heart broken person its very difficult to overcome their lovelorn lives and trust someone else.
For them it is advised every person is not same, your new partner may not have the same likes and dislike as the older, there may be difference in their character so just try to keep an open mind for them. The ones who choose to be their partners should be prepared for every ball they throw in your because if you truly love them you’ll want to be with them forever. Your partner may turn hysterical at times or be suspicious in your conduct with your friends of opposite sex. Just make them understand that it is them who you love not your friend.
Love them a lot, never let them feel lonely. Best of luck.

Friendship not romance

What do we say when a boy and girl are seen laughing together. ” They must be having an affair ”  , ” look how flirty”, ” how can they be so audious ” etc etc.  I don’t understand why they can’t take it as mere friendship.

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Two people who like being in each other’s company do need to be in love.  They can be friends who support each other and who correct us when need be.
Love is something different. Yes we are always friends with our love interest and they can make us happy with a smile or simple conversation . But with friends its different its the brotherly love with them. Our friends might be handsome but they won’t hold candle to your love interest.  And I think even the boyfriend or girlfriend shouldn’t be jealous of the fact that their partner has got a friend of the opposite gender.

7 things to be kept on mind for your first date?

Your behavior on the first date helps in deciding the span of your relationship. If you behave remarkably well then the first may turn into second -third and many more dates. But if you tried something abusive then your first date may turn into a horrid dream .And this is not only about dates because our behavior showcases our character wherever we go. Since the first impression is the last impression so we would obviously want to be on our best on our first date.
Below I’ve mentioned a few things for girls to keep in mind on their first date. Before getting into that I must mention that the advises given here are for people looking forward to serious relationships not casual hookups.
1.Dressing – Your dressing style says a lot about your character. So for the first date you wear something which is not too revealing, yet elegant because girl you are going for a date, not to get laid. Let your hair be done by some stylist or if you can do it on your own its well and good.

2.Talk Casual – Keep the conversation mostly into topics of your comfort zone. That would help you maintain pace with him, otherwise you would have to sit there like a bimbo. I don’t think you would want him doubting your intellect.

3.Don’t be a braggart –Don’t be all I , me and myself. Allow him to speak,  try to know his likes and dislikes this will make him think that you generously care for him.

4.Kissing -Kissing the love partner has turned into a tradition of the society but you,  will not let him do that. I try to maintain a 3-dates rule, some of us may have 2-dates but don’t and I mean Don’t let him kiss you on the first date. This will make him feel that you are too easy.

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5.Dont be too cold –You might be thinking that should I let him hold me or not? My answer to this is yes let him hold your hand. Otherwise he may feel you’re too cold which is not good either.

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6.Bills – You’re On a date and you don’t eat anything that’s quite rare.

So, when you’re done munching your favorite items, don’t go all feminist and pay the bill. If you do that you’ll shoot straight through his male ego and we don’t want that happening do we? So let him pay the first and then you can give him a treat on your second or third date, of course if you continue,  that is.

7. Farewell. –Now,  be a good girl and let him drop you to your home. If he is a gentleman he’ll surely do that and not leave you standing there outside the restaurant or diner or wherever you went. And as a reward of his gentlemanly behavior you may give him a peck on the cheek.

‘Serious Relationship ‘ is it that important?

During our teenage years infatuation, lust plays an important role in moulding our thoughts. At that period of time a mere lust or infatuation for the opposite sex is thought to be love. We tend to spend more and more time with the person we are supposed to be in love. So, particularly the teens who maintain relationship with their boyfriend or girlfriend lose their concentration in anything else except their relation. And after a few days of moving around they need to get a break,  probably because they are fickle minded and thought about the same thing day in and out. Getting a break or ‘break up ‘ as it is called may result in deterioration of studies,  loneliness due to their ideology in cutting off their parents and friends from the present situation.

They let a few days or weeks or months go by and then move out in search of another love interest. After getting a new partner showing off takes a few days and if by chance their ex-partners come to know of this situation they tend to find a better girlfriend or boyfriend,  in some cases for girls they spend their days weeping. Gradually changing partners becomes a tend and the situation gets so worse that they feel suffocated if they don’t change their partner within a week or so. Turning into a series of relationship.
Finally when they grow older and are asked to marry they hesitate  due to their doubt in their doubt in themselves

Will I be able to love her

or vice-versa in case of girls.

Until and unless someone is in a serious relationship they don’t understand its value. You may have a family and lots of friends but you cannot share all your feelings with them.

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With your partners you can share whatever you feel and you always find them by your side when you need them. May be not exactly at the moment but they do try to reach you whenever possible. Being able to talk to someone in a pensive state can be of much relief. Though serious relations have their own problems like taking up responsibilities,  sharing the workload etc,  yet in those days you’ll enjoy being with them.In the midst of all the dangers,  trying to possess her,  she feels protected by him. How do you think does this feeling arise?  Its because of your closeness or the connection of your mind with her. You may feel like being in hell,  yet when you open your eyes and look at her you’ll find an easiness within you, gradually all the problems fading away. That’s all you would want in a lifetime. You might be a billionaire but if you don’t have anyone standing for you in the doorway,  in the long run you wouldn’t want all that money. Would you?  You would still want someone you can grow old with.
Do you still want casual relationships?

How to win your love back?

If you want to win your love back that means you must have had a break up first,  the reason for which can be numerous. Here I won’t go mapping  the reasons because our focus is to get your love back.Another important thing that I must tell you is that in this post the one you have to win back is your girlfriend,  since I don’t have much idea about male psychology and is more familiar with females. Whatever advises have been given here are based on real life experience and don’t think it’s from personal agenda because I have the habit of melting down whenever my special someone tries to talk me into anything. Well here we can’t go into side tracks can we.Our main course was fixing your relationship,  so I was saying that I’ve seen many of my friends going back to boyfriends after a brief disagreement or guy friends getting their girlfriends back. When I asked them they told me a few of their tricks. I can’t guarantee you that these methods will work, but there are chances that it may work and why not give it a try if you tried everything else already? So,  here it is:-

1. Sorry message –Just after you came to know that your girlfriend is angry with you for a particular reason send her a message asking forgiveness. This works when she is least angry with you.

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2.Send her a gift –If your girlfriend is very angry with you and is not ready to listen to any of your pleas then send her a gift. It may vary from flowers to card or her favorite chocolate or a book,  even a dress if you want to give her something expensive.

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3. Call her – Sending her gifts may melt her a little and this will be sole chance to talk her into meeting you. At the beginning she may not receive your calls. But don’t lose hope give her time to cool down and call her again. She must answer the phone now and if she doesn’t then dude I can say only one thing yours is a lost case.

4.Meet her –If you have convinced her to meet you then be brave enough to tell her the truth,whenever she asks you something. If you keep on giving her fake stories then you’ll only complicate the issue which is something we don’t want so tell her whatever she wants to know.

5.Commitment –Make a commitment and vow to stick to her .Commitments help in long term relationship.

6.Be patient –Patience is important for any relationship to last long. One or other partner must always have some patience and tolerance.

If all these methods doesn’t work then give her sometime to get her senses back,  she’ll surely come running to you (well not literally ), if she truly loves you,  that is.Otherwise you can take some time off and get back into business find someone else who will love you for yourself. In romance we always believe in true mates,  so you just need to wait to get her.
There’s another announcement to be made I have recently published an ebook called The Mysterious Women Series: Blackmail. If you want you can get a copy of it and whats more the ebook is totally free available in many reading formats. Here’s the link for it
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/541303?_e_pi_=7%2CPAGE_ID10%2C2320835763